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Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading
So sick and tired of all the needless beating
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Symone, 030793Cheryl's blog here. Kind off talky with loads of words. Some make sense some don't. Like this blog, come back and read more, don't like, please don't spam my tag board. Just a school girl going through her school life. Nothing much nothing less. Likes to eat but kind of aware not to eat too much. Thats about it. I felt that night, on the stage, incredibly close to everything in the universe, but also extremely alone. I wondered, for the first time in my life, if life was worth all the work it took to live. What exactly made it worth it? What’s so horrible about being dead forever, and not feeling anything, and not even dreaming? What’s so great about feeling and dreaming? (By the person who did this skin) — Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close Taggings
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Saturday, October 29, 2011
To my beloved laogong. Sorry about not really listening to you about the things about Leona. Kay here's what I think. You and Leona has been friends like since the starting of the year? Been like good to best friends within the year and shared many many memories. No matter how coward she seem to be, are you sure you solely want to judge her on her misgivings and not all that she had done for you and you had done to her, and even the things you did together. It that one thing gonna judge her straight there from all the many things that happened throughout the whole year? Weigh the worth of having to apologise to Chin Hin, if I were gonna laugh at his fringe, I would say, "He deserve all of the jokes." You know why? Because throughout the years, him and the other guys in class have been making life difficult for the weaker ones, count it personal or whatever, but he really do need to be slapped hard to be learnt a lesson of anti bullying and learn to be more mature in thinking. His personality we all know, not forgiving. Despite the fact that he stand a strong weight on the group in the class, but do you think the group is gonna last forever? I doubt that, is fitting in to that group all that matters? If it really means so much to both you and Leona, then well that's too bad because it really isn't worth it at all. No joke. Only finding faults with Leona now doesn't make either of you two feel better in anyway, so why don't the both of you sit down and talk about it? Think about the worth of it, is it even worth setting down so much pride just to apologise to something that isn't even worth like a life? It is hard for her as well. If I were in her shoes, not about my own pride but having to apologise to something so puny and minor, I might as well suicide, that's just my thoughts. And to think that Chin Hin can get so angry over it, is he finding faults? Jolene had been laughing about his hairstyle and making fun of it I bet 10 times worst than Leona, why did Chin Hin not get angry with Jolene at all? I understand that it is only normal for him to feel very uncomfortable without his fringe but it's not even a big deal right? It can grow back over time! Girl's fringe are also very important to them but when people make fun of their fringe, do they act like how Chin Hin has acted? Understand that girl's fringe are like = half their image. I would say that both sides are somehow at wrong. Even if Leona doesn't have the courage to apologise, can Chin Hin at least be more forgiving and to make life easier for both, let her apologise. As her best friend, I know you have supported her quite a lot. But since she still doesn't have the courage to, why not keep pressing on her. After all that I said, think if Leona really should apologise him and really make it so important like it matters of life and death scenario, I'd say it's not worth it and not even worth analysing all these over such a small trivial matter. If you really are her best friend, you should support her, give her encouragement, stand by her and give her good advises and not start talking about all her misgivings. Good Luck and love you laogong. <3 Friday, October 28, 2011
I almost cried. Believed it or not, I was so close to tears! Really can't afford to truthfully and seriously cry in class. I can really just tear up for all I care but I can never never cry in front of them. It's really a very big downfall for my pride! The whole day in school today, I was the least worried or even thinking it's the last day of school. Though I dread heading to sec 3 but dread staying sec 2 as well, I really really need to get my report book back to see my screwing science that I failed! At the end of the day, Mdm Lim was giving out the report book announcing the class ranking of those better ones, I was like, screw it! I'm damn nervous about my results for the first time of my live. As if, I can't afford to be in the lower then top 3. And since I'm the last girl in class, I get the report book last! And I was thinking, Shermin got first, Nasya got third, Chee Bin did better then me in science, And I was, OMG Chee Bin must be the second position and I'll be the forth! And I was already real close to just break down straight there! And finally Mdm Lim called my name and she said I got second, I was "SCREW! I GOT SECOND!" I can't believe it at all! And I was close to tears for tears of joy and ran straight to Shermin for she have been comforting me the whole day! I totally shriek and I was like, "Shermin! I did it! It's a second position!" And I felt like the tears were going to fall. Then I tried to calm myself, No matter how hard I tried, it seemed so hard! And not only that, overall, I still screwing failed science! Which means I can't get into a proper class with double humans and a math. And it's all thanks to that stupid school with no good combination, Bro's combination was like, combine science, el, cl, emath, amath, geog and hist. And it's like the perfect combination for me! I won't have to drop any at all! Why can't we like just switch over and he can do those crap subjects I'm bad at and I can focus on the subjects I'm confident and better in? Screw right? And there's only 2 classes that's open for combine science and both are crappy class. And all that I'm left to choose is crappy class. Pointless! I might as well just say I am failing my O's in 2 years time straight there. Crap. Today's cooking misadventure was fine, Things did improve but I believe if we try something else, and enhance a little more on appearance and flavouring, we could really do well. But still, that POL has totally no intention on changing the menu. Not just that, she is bent on having me doing up those "gadgets" for her. Which is = total unhygienic? I can't believe she actually wanted me to do that. May be creative, but we really need something that will hide the twines. And twines are too thick for chopsticks which might as well just say use the twine to serve the dish eh? Well, no more frustration, I'm deleting my frustrations at the end of november. November, the month that is still teeny, tiny, bit of having to deal with POL. Hopefully by December, I can talk mum into letting the whole family out for a family outing which we haven't done in years. Talk daddy into taking off for us is mum's forte. Mum should be quite free and I can help out in the flower shop. Maybe aunt will teach me more about flower arrangement. Hopefully by then I can finally memorize all the prices. LOL. Christmas, I hope to get into a little volunteering. Grandma can help. And I should be able clock off CIP points, with cutting away boredom from holiday, doing good deed and thinking less and be nicer to people. TROLOL Monday, October 24, 2011
Bad results. Results turn out not so good. :/ But anticipated that much of it already. After exam, life is like: "Sleep sleep sleep" Every time, or everyday, I'm so sleepy. Almost as if I can't live without sleeping. LOL At night, things goes worse, it's like it stops me from sleeping. For example, last night, I had a terrible headache that can't get me to sleep. T.T Post exam stress maybe? Today is promotion day already! Hopefully I can get promoted to 3 express next year and hopefully my Chinese teacher saw a mistake in the marks that I did pass my Chinese and let me not take CLB. Confirm with her tomorrow. Overall, I passed all my subjects except Science T.T Failed science like badly... I not a girl who is fill with intelligence in the brain and I'm still a child. In the past, I don't think there's such things as teenagers so mostly, I suppose it's mentioned as child. So I'm still a kid as a matter of fact and no intention to grow up that fast either. However, being a teenager gives the advantage of being mature when I like and when the time is right and being childish for all I like when the time is right as well. Like, when I'm annoyed with the class, I'll be like "Seriously guys, grow up ." And when I'm with mummy and not annoyed with her, I'll be like "Mummy I want ice cream!" Different circumstances different aspects to act according to. It's in a terms, seems like double face ain't? Well who isn't? In front of different people, we tend to show different parts of us. It's not really double face to me but more like little parts the makes a full me. And nobody knows what or who or how or why and where is the full me. Only I myself knows about everything about me because I am me! Voila! I'm gonna leave that hypocritical class this year and face it, as much as we all hate to say it, it's the worst class I've ever been to. Much worse than 5-3. No matter how bad or infamous 5-3 was, there was still this one important value in our class: We had teamwork and we did not discriminate anybody or bully anyone in the class. We work together against the bullies that bullied our classmates, be it whether they are acquaintance or just solely classmate and nothing as. We know where to stop and where is it to go too far. And we were all still so young then! And this year, It's so much more childish, and playing all innocent in everything. Those hypocrites are the worst. Acting like they are your good friend at a moment and bad mouthing you to others non stop. Can't help it but pity their shallowness and low self esteem thinking that they are awesome when they are so not. It's not about being popular or being the main clique or whatever else shit there is. It's about the class spirit of teamwork and working together as a class. It's not about the so called "class outing" or the bonding because it really means nothing when there is discrimination among people. They really need to learn hard, learn and read an really get this very word, Grow Up . |
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But baby, where they knock you down and out
Is where you oughta stay |
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