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Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading
So sick and tired of all the needless beating
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Symone, 030793Cheryl's blog here. Kind off talky with loads of words. Some make sense some don't. Like this blog, come back and read more, don't like, please don't spam my tag board. Just a school girl going through her school life. Nothing much nothing less. Likes to eat but kind of aware not to eat too much. Thats about it. I felt that night, on the stage, incredibly close to everything in the universe, but also extremely alone. I wondered, for the first time in my life, if life was worth all the work it took to live. What exactly made it worth it? What’s so horrible about being dead forever, and not feeling anything, and not even dreaming? What’s so great about feeling and dreaming? (By the person who did this skin) — Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close Taggings
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Wednesday, December 26, 2012
To the holy daddy up there. If you truly believe in the holy daddy up there, his not there specifically to mend your "broken heart" his there through words of the bible to help you learn about life. You don't even read the bible. If you truly believe in the holy daddy up there, you don't have to "pray to him" on twitter, you can pray it through your heart, by your mouth, he can hear better that way. And he'll guide you to his answer via the bible. Just because you think you know him, you don't. You need to truly follow him, follow his guidance, follow him faithfully. Love him, trust him, know that he is there for you, you are there for him. Your best friend, best lover, best dad. Not faking it, accept him in your heart. Thank him for all that he have done. Thank him and praise him... I'm posting this here because hardly anyone will see this. But if someone happens to, don't be like the hypocrite. The Heavenly Father up there deserves more than fake, because he is real. And we should treat him with our true self. Sunday, December 2, 2012
I miss, I hate, I detest you. I saved your photo for myself telling myself to remember you no matter how far I am, how much I can't talk to you... Do you do the same thing? Now you have no excuse not to be talking to me yet you are not talking to me. Do you have any idea how much it's eating me up right before I left for New Zealand up till now? The fact that your mum obviously dislike me to go around telling the world she does. Not verifying it with you in fear of spoiling an ruining our relationship. Since I came back from New Zealand, how much distance it has become. What has become of us? What has become of you? I told myself maybe it's time to let you go because I knew from the start you don't belong with me and yet I try to make myself believe you do. Guess that I am your mistress no more? You have a new mistress? Pet servant for someone else? I don't know... I told myself to be careful not to get too close to other guys for you... And yet this is what I get.... I had my heart set on you, and now it's wavering. It's wavering because you are no longer there. Not there for me, not there to even pacify me. Not there to hold me, not there to protect me from all harm. Not there to make sure I'm okay. You told me you'll make me feel okay... You'll make me happy. You'll be my pet. You'll be there for me. You'll protect me forever... Now you are the one hurting the shit out of me... Hurting every bit... You could have made it easier for me by telling me something. But right now, it's all a blank. Wherever I am, I think of you. I think of you, your smile, your gentle holding. You careful and protective hands around me. I was looking forward to December, you telling me that we can go here and there, cycle here and there. At least a 10km? Skating? I do remember what you say... I still have a tinge of childhood with me on the fact that as a child, I have always had a good memory. Vivid ones actually. And I really want to let everything out... But all I can do is cry to myself bit by bit, every night, thinking about you. I have to stop thinking about you. Forget about that face. I can't bare to lose. I can't bear to lose any bit of it. I miss you so bad... I hate this void feeling... |
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But baby, where they knock you down and out
Is where you oughta stay |
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